Twins Fans, Rejoice
The Minnesota Twins play the New York Yankees tonight in a pivotal Game 3 of this year’s American League Division Series, and by all statistical estimates, the Twins will lose.
If you watch baseball and believe 1 + 1 = 2, that will happen.
But, unlike in the past, I’m not here to scream about the goddamn Yankees, entertain the idea of a playoff curse, or even provide a healthy dose of armchair bitching about what the Twins could have done better in Game 1 or 2.
I’m here to rejoice, and if you’re a Twins fan, you should, too.
The Twins haven’t won 100 games since 1965. “Wooly Bully” was the number 1 song in the nation. “My Fair Lady” and “Mary Poppins” were absolutely cleaning up at the Oscars. LBJ signed the Voting Rights Act. The Beatles played Shea Stadium. American combat troops touched down in South Vietnam. My parents were in diapers.
Does anyone here remember how absolutely miserable it was to watch the 2016 Twins? The ‘16 Twins won 59 fucking games. Joe Mauer hit .261. Jose Berrios went 3-7 with an 8.02 ERA. We dished Aaron Hicks for John Ryan Murphy. Byung Ho-Park existed.
And somehow, despite eventually winning more games than the ‘16 squad, the 2018 Twins were even harder to watch. The team had a surprising offseason, signed a bunch of talent, and still stunk. God, my expectations were astronomical. Bring your brain back to October 2018. Did you think the Twins would be here right now?
You didn’t.
2019 was the year of the bomba. The year of the turtle, of rally squirrel, of Buxton finally batting up to his contract, of Sano and Kepler doing the same. It was the year of Tyler Duffey, who had a shameful 7.20 ERA last year, but was lights-out-fucking-filthy in 2019. Jake Odorizzi found his fastball, and the Twins found Randy Dobnak (on YouTube!). It was the year of Luis fucking Arraez.
Eddie Rosario and Rally Squirrel / LEILA NAVIDI, STAR TRIBUNE
Lest we forget - the Twins won 101 games this year despite injuries to literally all of their best players - Buxton, Arraez, Kepler, Rosario, Astudillo, Sano, Cruz, Cron, Odorizzi, Gonzalez. They all lost playing time on the I.L. For the first time in memory, the lineup was deep enough to fix any mallady, including my battered, Minnesota-sports-fan heart.
So tonight, when the Twins will probably lose - again - to the Yankees, rejoice. The Twins are a good team. I don’t care if it’s the AL Central: the poorly lit, rat-infested, mold-laden basement of the entire MLB. I don’t care if “well, it’s only because they beat the Orioles a million times.” There are 21 other teams this year that would kill to be where the Twins are today, and those same 21 teams are also wondering what it would take to be where the Twins will start next season.
Yes, the statistics say the Yankees will win tonight. If they don’t, there’s always tomorrow night and then Thursday in the Bronx. But the Twins have beaten the odds already this year. In March, they were given a less than 20% chance of winning the Central. I still have hope they will beat the odds again tonight. And tomorrow. And maybe even Thursday in the Bronx.
Even if they don’t, we can’t be upset. 2019 was a pretty great year to be a Twins fan, and if you can’t see that, then I feel bad for you.
In closing, fuck the Yankees.
(Sidebar: Look at the top 100 songs of 1965 because, holy Jesus, they all slap.)
Main image: Jeff Wheeler | STAR TRIBUNE
